Ice Station Beer Bellies

I’m not an outdoorsy type, which is probably why the appeal of ice fishing is lost on me. This is the time of year when I see photos of ice fishing expeditions bubbling up in online destinations such as Facebook. It’s also the time of year when I have my (perhaps incorrect) perception of ice fishing reinforced.

To the outsider, this is what the typical ice fishing trip appears to consist of:

  • A bunch of dudes; the bigger the beer bellies, the better.
  • Copious amounts of terrible beer usually unfit for placement anywhere but beer pong tables and the diviest of dive bars.
  • Dozens of moments where aforementioned guys pose in suggestive positions with one another, allegedly for the “lulz.” Note that these moments generally make up at least half of the inevitable Facebook photo album of the entire trip.
  • Lots of standing around a hole in the ice, sipping on the aforementioned shitty beer

The idea of male bonding and drinking alcohol of suspect origin isn’t lost on me. I just don’t ever get the urge to drive out to Hoth with a lot of fat dudes to make that happen. And if I did, I’d prefer that one of those fat dudes be Carl Winslow.

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